• Tamicka Monson

Free to Mourn

Updated: May 21, 2020

Recently, I was talking to a friend about grief and pain and reflecting on my experience of surviving an emotionally dark place. She told me, “It’s good you allow yourself to feel.” This statement stuck with me. I was used to people, verbally and non-verbally, communicating the opposite. I have had many people look at me with disdain, whisper about me in regards to grief, and act as if I should “get over” my grief.

According to dictionary.com grief is defined as “keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss, sharp sorrow,” and mourning is defined as the actual process of expression of sorrow. While we all experience grief to some extent, many of us fail to take the time to properly mourn.

Often when we think of mourning, we think of it in regards to the death of a loved one. But mourning can involve grieving various kinds of death. The death of a relationship. The death of a friendship. The death of a dream. Society tells us we should just “suck it up” and “move on.” But I would argue that we have developed poor coping skills (such as drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, over-working, etc.) for mourning. We are not “moving on”; we are just grieving in our bodies what we refuse to mourn and process with our hearts, minds, and mouths.

The Bible states that there is a time for weeping and mourning (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

I pray that you heal from the things you have never verbalized. Give yourself the freedom to mourn.

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