Welcome to a new chapter in my life! How did we get here? One day in August 2019, I woke up and realized that seven years of my life had passed me by. I was seven years older, none of my clothes fit anymore, and my relationships were broken. I had accidentally cut a chunk of my hair while taking down my braids, which took a miracle from my hairstylist to minimize. I felt un-pretty and unloved. I realized my responses to the trauma I experienced made me embittered towards life. When people tried to get close to me, I pushed them away. I was not open to a romantic relationship, though I would talk about it often with friends out of obligation. I didn’t recognize the person in the mirror. And I was far from happy. After spending several days crying my eyes out (much of which was due to the anniversary of my brothers’ deaths), I realized that I needed to change things.
I bought some clothes that fit. I started graduate school and a new job. I learned to listen, not to refute, but to understand. I started to question my role in the failures in my relationships. I stopped dwelling on my faults and failures and started thinking about constructive ways to move forward. God brought me to a place of great loneliness, where He began pruning me and removing things that were not like Him.
I am still a work in progress, but I am becoming a person who is finding new meaning in life. In the process, I have taken on the Big Sean approach, "[There are] no mistakes in life, though - only lessons." Of course, there are many, many things I regret doing and saying, but calling them “mistakes” causes me to ruminate and be stuck in the past. Looking at my “mistakes” as lessons motivates me to focus on how I can learn from them for the future.
Follow me on my journey.